I don’t know about you, but marriage is not what I signed up for.
I sometimes find myself struggling with aspects of who I am called to be, especially my role as wife to a pastor. When we were dating and engaged it seemed that God was leading in a different direction. I struggled with that calling too, finally said ‘ok, I’m in’ — for military chaplaincy. Well now life looks drastically different and sometimes the fact that it is so much different from anything I would have chosen is a little rough. Sometimes I even resent aspects of being at home, having so many (okay, maybe it just FEELS like so many – lol) very young children. I find myself thinking, “This is not what I signed up for.”
Recently I heard a story about a woman that everyone loves to hate. She was newly married when her husband was in a wreck and became severely handicapped. During his long hospitalization, she abandoned him and drug him and his family through a nasty divorce. As I listened in horror I was silently condemning her…”What an awful thing to do! What a horrible woman!” But then, I was convicted when I heard why she did it and realized my heart was no better. She said: “This is not what I signed up for.”
But what did we sign up for?
In marriage, we “sign up for” sickness, health, better, worse, whatever God brings. What about in my relationship with God? Am I willing to follow Him even when it doesn’t work out the way I anticipated? What about when God asks of me something precious, something contrary to my “Plan A”? Am I obedient then?
Sisters, can we just give up the “this is not what I signed up for” attitude?
“I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.”
“His purpose in dying for all was that men while still in life should cease to live for themselves, and should live for him who for their sake died.” [2 Corinthians 5:15]