The God who sees me.

eye painting

The God who sees me. 

I was alone in the car and feeling the utter aloneness sink deep into my spirit.

It was perhaps the most alone I’ve felt – with burdens my own to carry, persistent sickness, spiritual weariness, exhausted from long and tiring (sometimes aimless-feeling) days, while my husband was overseas.

I sat at a red light, feeling too dry even for tears. It was then that God reminded me of His name: El Roi. The God who sees me. 

Who else can see?

Sometimes with a kindred spirit we share our struggles and feel for a moment as if ‘they really get it’ and can relate or understand at least some portion of our heart. But God – He sees. The many idols we run to have eyes but cannot see (Psalm 135:16). But our God – El Roi – He sees.

He sees.

Your children may not see your sacrifices, but He sees. Your husband may not see your heartache, but He sees. Your friends, family and church may not see your struggle or joy or passion or calling, but He sees.

El Roi. The God who sees me.

I couldn’t remember where it came from in the Bible. Was it Naomi, or Mara, the bitter one? No, no. Then it came to me. It was Hagar, the maidservant of Sarai, who was wandering in the wilderness (Genesis 16). At first I was a bit taken aback to find such comfort in her story – I mean really, Hagar? But after mulling it over for a moment, I wondered – is the fact that God saw Hagar even more moving? She was not a “big deal” of a person – just a servant, and one out of favor with her mistress at that. But God saw her suffering and had compassion. She was amazed, and said “Have I really seen the one here who sees me?” Knowing that God saw her gave her the courage to return to Sarai and endure harsh treatment, and she also knew that God would take care of her. She named her son Ishmael, “God hears.”

I feel as if I can endure a lot more knowing that all-loving, all-mighty God sees me. He sees. My heart is intimately known and I am never, ever truly alone.

That is so humbling. And so empowering.

3-4 I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
    your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
    Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
    Why take a second look our way?…

God, brilliant Lord,
    your name echoes around the world.  

Psalm 8:3-4,9 The Message

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3 thoughts on “The God who sees me.

  1. This is so good about our Awsome God…it is amazing how HE shows his love and care. Love you and your wonderful gift of words. Gma Kris PS I believe your little evangelist (who shares the back seat of the car )may also have a gift of words. Loved the wine, Lazarus and the other dramatizations.

  2. Just now getting around to a comment. This is a really encouraging reminder during a particularly long season of waiting and weariness. Glad to see you’re posting again.

  3. Pingback: roots. | jordan cristine | a day in the life

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