These two make me smile every day.
So many moments I think I’ll burst from frustration or exhaustion…
…but then there are moments too when I might burst from joy and contentment and overwhelming love.
Like a few nights ago. All day I was a broken record: ‘Kaya, be kind. Hudson, be gentle.’ Endlessly! Then when the four of us were cuddled tight into a corner of the couch, watching a movie, there was just enough light for me to look down and notice the two of them holding hands. I felt like screaming with happiness, but suppressed it and just nudged Nels so he would know the bursting feeling too.
Hudson pulls Kaya’s hair for fun or for other rambunctious-boy-reasons. Kaya grabs Hudson’s shoulders fiercely when he’s overstepped his bounds with her toys. But then there are other moments. The best ones, when they play together and I overhear her call him “Bubster Bear.” Or when he is up early from his nap, only to return to their bedroom door, banging and squawking, willing her to wake up and play with him. I savor the moments too, when I hear kind or tender words come out of her baby mouth. She knows that we use our words to affirm and build up. I was so tickled when she called me “cute mama” one morning, or when she told us a “story,” which went something like “I love my daddy and don’t want him to go away.”
I hope I’ll always remember the look on her face as she stood with me, whispering to Hudson while he received 5 shots in his chubby legs. He was scared and she was visibly pained by his sadness…”it’s okay Huddy-bear,” she nearly sobbed.
These moments slip away between lots of spills and screams and blow out diapers.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, when God knows I need the encouragement the most – we glimpse some small fruit of our labor in their precious lives.
Lately I have been prodded by the Spirit to pray for their souls. As any mother would, I want to pray for their safety and happiness…but even more I want the security of their souls…I want them to know that they need not fear anyone who may harm or even kill the body, but “rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matthew 10:28)