Do you ever have those moments when you are just a bit stunned and tongue-tied?
I used to think I was pretty quick-thinking, and always ready with a thoughtful response. Something about bouncing/patting a crying baby, keeping one eye on a toddler who has learned how to run and simultaneously wondering how I can send my husband a brain wave informing him that I need the diaper bag now – all mid-conversation – leaves me replaying conversations and responding to them in hindsight rather than in the moment.
Today I had one of those moments. An “Uhhh..?” Followed (an hour later) by, “This is what I should have said!”
A woman said to me in passing, “you are so lucky, Jordan. It’s so nice that you can stay home.”
I agreed! So true! And yet as the conversation progressed, it was clear that she was implying that I am blessed to be financially situated in a way that allows for us to live comfortably off of one income. She seemed to think that my husband’s salary is ample and over and above that of other families, making additional income earned by me unnecessary.
I am thankful. But what I am really thankful for is a husband who is a godly man. He understands the biblical model for roles of husbands and wives. He values our home life and our children and prioritizes them over money and a more comfortable life. I don’t stay at home because we have “enough money.” No, our finances feel impossibly tight most of the time. I stay at home because we believe it is right, because my husband encourages me to do so, and because we have made necessary lifestyle adjustments to make it possible.
We’re not starving. I’ve never gone hungry a day in my life. But we are often short. My point is this – if it’s important to you, you’ll make it happen. If God leads you to be a wife/homemaker/mother, He’ll provide, but you’ll have to trust Him and it might be really tight sometimes. If you feel God leading you to it, if you (as a couple) are in agreement that it is God’s best for you to be a worker in your home, don’t let finances stand in the way.
You can cut texting, extra minutes, data plans and smart phones. You can cut your car payment and have only one car, or an inexpensive one. Most of us, in America, can live on less and make staying at home with our children possible. Their days with us are passing quickly – they don’t need a “better life” in a “better neighborhood” or more things or something like that. They need us. Present with them, teaching them, loving them.
I understand this is a challenging lifestyle change. I have experienced it first-hand. I understand that extenuating circumstances apply for a select few women. But the masses of women, Christian mothers even, are working outside of their homes. My challenge is for the “masses”…Would you pray about this? Would you consider Titus 2 with your husband?
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” – Titus 2:3-5