The last month of pregnancy feels kind of like the second week of December for a college student: Christmas is all you can think about and all you care about, and yet finals and paper-writing stands between you and your trip home, your gift-exchanging, your baking and caroling and celebrating.
I don’t know how I am supposed to care about “real life” when it seems all I can think about is the immense size of my stomach, the swelling of my ankles, and (what feels like) the imminency of my baby’s arrival.
We are still over three weeks out from the due date, but every night I go to bed thinking “perhaps this will be the night” and every morning when I shower and don’t really want to shave my legs I think “perhaps he’ll come today – I really should.” Every day I scrub the kitchen floor or check off one more to-do or make some plans with a friend, adding “unless I’m in labor.” I feel like I am floating – more or less here, but not really aware of anything around me, except the fact that I am about to have a baby.
That being said, I am really enjoying this special time with just my little girl. We have had some precious time together over the summer and these last few weeks! The more time I spend with her, the more confident I feel that she will know she is loved even if the addition of a little brother is a little confusing for her at first.
Also, I am thankful that God gives us 9 months to prepare for this new life physically, emotionally, financially, etc. We have plenty of preparations still to make for his arrival. But to be really honest, this final stretch is pretty difficult. The weekly doctor appointments are kind of a drag. My body hurts, sleep doesn’t come easily, the stretch marks keep on stretching, I’m emotionally just done with pregnancy, I’m hot and tired, a little nervous about all the details of labor and delivery and the stress of being separated for a time from my 19 month old…
…plus I am somehow supposed to carry on as normal??
Maybe all of these little hardships (that are really probably rather insignificant in proper perspective) are allowed by God to prepare my heart and make me more and more eager to embrace my newborn when he finally comes – to bond with him and just be filled the brim with anticipation so I am spilling over with love and joy when he comes.
In the mean time, I am doing my best to prepare and also stay engaged in normal life. AND, I can’t lie – there are some major perks to the pregnancy at this point! For instance…
1) Expectant & New Mother Parking Spots – This is funny, right? But so, so awesome. I don’t know why I haven’t taken full advantage of them before now. Sometimes I like parking far away and walking, but sometimes it is nice just to have that little special spot! And it sure makes grocery shopping with a baby easier.
2) Many People Are Really, Really Thoughtful – I could write a book on the ways people have been unthoughtful during pregnancy, but really a lot of people are so kind and thoughtful when you are pregnant. I have received the kindest notes and little gifts, hand-me-down maternity and baby clothes, a free night at a hotel!, a bag full of special luxurious soaps and lotions, even a special (free!) manicure during youth group from a sweet lady at church –
3) Spoiling From My Hubby – Not gonna lie, he has been really too busy and stressed with so much that I have sometimes felt on my own in the work of getting ready for baby. When Kaya was born, waiting with me for baby was all he had on the agenda, but right now he is overwhelmingly swamped. But when he is available, he is so kind to read to me, make lunch, rub my tired feet and back, help with Kaya, deep clean the car seat, etc. God is sustaining him somehow and I am really thankful for the blessing of a godly husband. It is such a comfort during this emotional time!
Well, one way or another – just a few more weeks max until the finals are over and it is Merry Christmas to meeee…and my son arrives!
Waiting patiently, sometimes lazily and sometimes hyperactively – (ha!)