Don’t get me wrong…
…I adore being a mommy.
My baby girl and I?…
…we’re in love.
She is wonderful and beautiful – one of the greatest blessings in my life.
I love her triumphant smiles when I come to pick her up from a nap.
She’s been unusually cuddly lately. It is so sweet to have her lay her soft, chubby cheek on mine.
Today she has stood up unsupported several times and just beamed with joy and pride when I clapped.
We went for an afternoon walk today and she was enthralled with the airplanes flying overhead. ❤
There are weary, weepy days like today, when I feel the weight of it all quite profoundly.
I feel exhausted and wonder why I can’t “get it together”…and then I realize:
I never have a day off.
I love nap time. It’s a break, a time to get caught up on housework or homework, to start dinner or take a shower.
I love date nights. A few hours just the two of us – so fun!
But a weekend off? A day with no diapers, feedings, dressing, crying episodes, life-saving interventions, etc.?
Not for a mommy.
Of course not! This is old news to most people…
…but it is just truly sinking in for me.
There are days (like today) when I fondly remember high school basketball practices and bonfires with friends. What a happy time! And college, so many friends, so many things to do, so many nights of music and games and movies. Spending carefree hours with my then boyfriend and fiance. Having a weekend here or there with no plans. Impromtu coffee dates and girls nights out…
Those days weren’t idyllic. In many ways, I prefer being married and having Kaya around – there is so much joy in our home!
But there is a weight as well.
I feel it today.
Every day there is laundry, cleaning, dishes, and other work work work…
Wonderful, fulfilling work!…
..with very few breaks.
I am grateful for this life, but also hopeful for some refreshment in the Lord and maybe a day alone or with some girlfriends.
This transition is kickin my butt!