Don’t Get Me Wrong…

Don’t get me wrong…

…I adore being a mommy.

My baby girl and I?…

…we’re in love.

She is wonderful and beautiful – one of the greatest blessings in my life.

I love her triumphant smiles when I come to pick her up from a nap.

She’s been unusually cuddly lately. It is so sweet to have her lay her soft, chubby cheek on mine.

Today she has stood up unsupported several times and just beamed with joy and pride when I clapped.

We went for an afternoon walk today and she was enthralled with the airplanes flying overhead. ❤

…but…

There are weary, weepy days like today, when I feel the weight of it all quite profoundly.

I feel exhausted and wonder why I can’t “get it together”…and then I realize:

I never have a day off.

I love nap time. It’s a break, a time to get caught up on housework or homework, to start dinner or take a shower.

I love date nights. A few hours just the two of us – so fun!

But a weekend off? A day with no diapers, feedings, dressing, crying episodes, life-saving interventions, etc.?

Not for a mommy.

Of course not! This is old news to most people…

…but it is just truly sinking in for me.

There are days (like today) when I fondly remember high school basketball practices and bonfires with friends. What a happy time! And college, so many friends, so many things to do, so many nights of music and games and movies. Spending carefree hours with my then boyfriend and fiance. Having a weekend here or there with no plans. Impromtu coffee dates and girls nights out…

Those days weren’t idyllic. In many ways, I prefer being married and having Kaya around – there is so much joy in our home!

But there is a weight as well.

I feel it today.

Every day there is laundry, cleaning, dishes, and other work work work…

Wonderful, fulfilling work!…

..with very few breaks.

I am grateful for this life, but also hopeful for some refreshment in the Lord and maybe a day alone or with some girlfriends.

This transition is kickin my butt!

 

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6 thoughts on “Don’t Get Me Wrong…

  1. This is the time when you call your parents and say “Thank you, I had no idea how much you really cared about me.” We really never truly know how much our parents love us until we become parents ourselves.

  2. I agree! I think it is part of God’s plan for conforming me to the image of Christ! He gave up His life for me. Now I am giving mine up for Him by giving it away for the sake of others.

    Love you, Shannon! So excited that you have a little girl on the way. I bet Tyler is excited to introduce her to beets. ;-P

    • Tyler is more than excited. He is always telling everyone at school about the new baby. He even helped mom paint the baby’s room. He can’t wait to teach the baby about lots of things but he knows that he will have to wait till she grows up a little. He used to talk about making the baby sandwiches, until he found out that newborns don’t have teeth. I have also been told that he is a very good helper at daycare with an infant they have there. He will be a wonderful big brother I am sure. Can’t believe he starts kindergarden next fall. At least I will be roaming the hallways to make sure he behaves. I am told by his teacher that he is usually pretty good. Love you!
      PS. Beets are nasty! I only made them for they guys. Don’t know why but they fight over them.

      • That is SO STINKIN CUTE!! 🙂 I’m sure mommy will let Tyler make her a good sandwich any day!

  3. I know exactly what you mean I feel the same way, I was not prepared for all the laundry, meals to prepare, dishes to do, diapers to change, animals to care to etc. Naps are a blessing sometimes I wish I could just lay down and nap as well as Lila does, but nope there is so many other things to do lol. It is fun to remember those highschool games and fun, but you know you wouldn’t have it any other way then being a mom to a beautiful little girl. What helps me to keep going is to remember that Lila life and how she is raised is up to me and Michael and that is what is important. Enjoy her now, she will grow fast, and you are a mom now God had this all planned your responsibility is to raise Kaya for the Lord. Find Joy in every situation, its helps me to laugh and really nasty diapers lol. I am going through the same thing, we are both so young and have so much life ahead of us, remember God knows it all! Love you. Hope we can encourage each other in this adventure!!!

    • I love you Hannah! 🙂 It’s good for me to remember these things…and I am thankful that someone else is in a very similar place in life working through all the joy and the struggles too.

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